Formal Letter
Dear Professor Brad,
My name is Lek Jia Yu from your effective communication class. I'm writing this letter today to introduce myself and to share my goals for the module. I am currently a year one student at the Singapore Institute of Technology, pursuing a mechanical engineering degree. Before enrolling into this university, I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a Diploma in Mechanical Engineering.
During my first two years of course study in the polytechnic, I constantly had self-doubts about my ability to succeed in this field, mainly due to being weak at applying mathematical and physics concepts into real-life situations. However, during my third year, the final year project made me discover my passion and interest in engineering design and problem-solving. This increased my confidence and motivation to further my studies in the engineering field.
My strength, in terms of communication, is having the ability to listen with an open mind. I enjoy listening to others' opinions as it helps me understand them better as well as increasing my knowledge and understanding of various topics. My greatest weakness is my lack of confidence. Whenever I speak to a large group of people, I tend to feel nervous and forget everything I wanted to say. I'm also often worried about what others would think of me and refrain from speaking up.
Therefore, the two goals that I would like to achieve at the end of this module are improving my self-confidence in public speaking and being more proficient in writing, reading and speaking. I look forward to learning more about communication under your guidance.
Best regards,
Jia Yu
Commented on Sabryna's, Fulin's and Richard's post.
Edited date: 28/1/2021
Dear Jia Yu,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this introductory letter. Interesting, clear, and concise! You left me wondering what final year project you took on which made you discover not only your passion, but also your interest in engineering design and problem-solving…
Meanwhile, there are a few pointers for you to take note in your letter which may find useful:
1. Use of past tense. (“This increases my…” -> “This increased my…”)
2. Alternative suggestion. (“…listening to others’ opinions as…” -> “…listening to the opinions of others as…”) & (“…of me and refrain from…” -> “…of me which refrains me from…”)
3. Minor typo. (‘lack of self-confident’)
Having paired up with you to complete a task in class recently, I have to say that you do not seem like one whom lacks self-confidence. Fret not! You will only get better with more interactions with our fellow classmates over time.
Yours truly,
Richard
Dear Richard,
DeleteThank you for highlighting the mistakes I made. I really appreciate it!
Best Regards,
Jiayu
Dear Jia Yu,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this introductory letter. It is fairly well presented and informative. I sense that it is also heart-felt as you share with readers your evolving level of confidence. Like Richard, I'm impressed that your FYP in the poly bolstered your connection to your studies, giving you a greater sense of direction in engineering. It would be good, however, if you explained the actual project in more detail so that we can get an increased understanding of how such a change came to pass. That might add to the 'wow' factor of this letter as well.
In terms of language use, this is a good effort, but there are a few issues to consider.
1. word forms
- Before enrolling into this university, I have graduated.... > (verb tense) Before enrolling into this university, I graduated....
-- This increases my confidence and motivation... > (verb tense) ?
-- my lack of self-confident. > (phrase form) lack of confidence
2. use of capital letters
I look forward to seeing how you can build on this effort and to reading more of your writing this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Prof Brad,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read and comment on my blog. I will keep in mind the pointers that you have addressed and will make the necessary amendments.
I look forward to learning more from you in this module
Best regards,
Jiayu
Dear Jia Yu,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this self-introduction letter. It was nice to see someone who has a few similarities as me. Maybe you can add in some hobbies or interests (if any) or why you chose engineering back then. For your weakness, I can see that you are worried of public speaking especially when we were chosen to give a speech during one of the lessons, but don't be afraid because everyone feels the same and it is normal. Hopefully, we can work on our weaknesses throughout this module.
Since Richard and Prof Brad have mentioned about your mistakes, I would not touch on it further.
Let's enjoy the module and keep it up!
Best Regards,
Fu Lin
Dear Fu Lin,
DeleteThank you for your feedback. I appreciate it!
Best regards,
Jiayu
Dear Jia Yu,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing more about yourself, definitely provided insights in terms of your educational background and how you ended up choosing to study mechanical engineering.
The flow of the letter was smooth and the objectives was presented clearly. Overall, I found this to be a well-written letter and I enjoyed reading it.
Let's work hard together to achieve our goals!
Regards,
Chang Sheng
Dear Chang Sheng,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter, lets achieve our goals together!
Best regards,
Jiayu